||[Mar. 18th, 2005|11:41 pm]
Queer As Folk Essays
|||||Green Day ~ Boulevard of Broken Dreams||]|
Hey guys!! Yes, it's that time again!! Now with out any further ado....
So Much for My Happy Ending
I was inspired to write this essay after listening to Avril Lavigne the other day. Particularly "My Happy Ending." I had just read all the latest S5 spoilers and I remember thinking, "The B/M-ers are screwed."
(Don't worry, no actual spoilers are contained in this essay!)
"You are everything, everything that I wanted. We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it."
No kidding. What happened to the B/M relationship? I mean, don't get me wrong, I still love B/M more than life itself but CowLip is severely fucking them up. The closer they bring Brian and Justin together, the further apart Brian and Michael become.
For crying out loud, in S3 Brian HIT Michael!! Something like that would have never happened in S1. Never.
Even though I keep asking myself "What went wrong???" I ultimately know the answer. CowLip are B/J-ers and that's why. Plain and simple. They've just been jerking us around and teasing us with the prospect of B/M getting together when all along they've known that it's never going to happen.
One of my favorite B/M scenes is in 203 when Brian agrees to meet Michael at the comic convention. After they kiss and Brian walks away, Michael just looks so deliriously happy, like his life was falling back into place. He'd been in a bad relationship, but so what? He always has Brian. Thus, the adorably sweet smile on his face as he watches his best friend walk away.
What happened to that deliriously happy Mikey over the seasons? Look at him now. He's not "deliriously happy Mikey" anymore. He's "I've settled for Ben because Brian's actually happy with Justin" Mikey. If Michael thought that he had a chance in hell with Brian, he would have never accepted Ben's proposal.
In that aspect, B/M have been respectively fucked. Brian loves Michael, but he doesn't think he's good enough for him and he doesn't think he can ultimately make Michael happy. Brian tested the waters before Ben and Michael got married by throwing out a random comment about Michael still loving HIM best but he shouldn't have stopped there. What he SHOULD have done is tell Michael that he was about to make the biggest mistake of his entire life and confess his feelings but he didn't. He kept his mouth shut. Or rather, CowLip kept it shut for him. Brian thinks Michael is happy with Ben, so he'd never confess his feelings and screw with Michael's mind and heart.
Michael loves Brian more than anyone or anything on the planet but he doesn't fully realize that Brian would be willing to give up everything for him, if Michael would just say the word. So you see, they are in one hell of a catch-22. Each loves the other more than life itself but neither one them have the courage to just openly admit their feelings for one another.
Then there's Justin.
I don't want to dwell on this for too long but as I've said before, CowLip put Brian in a serious predicament. Who is he to choose? His best friend, and soul mate? Or the boy who managed to work himself into his heart?
How do you honestly choose, without losing your sanity? I know not everyone will agree with this but I'm a firm believer that you can be in love with two different people in two very different ways. So how DO you choose?
We all know that Brian doesn't 'do' confessions so I've always felt that Michael should have been the one to initiate things between them. Brian already knows how Michael feels about him but if Michael would just pour his heart out, I really do think that Brian would reciprocate. Only, I don't see that happening anytime soon unless Ben was out of the picture.
During the Liberty Ride, when Brian confessed that Michael was the love of his life, what did Michael do? He made light of the situation and barely acknowledged it. Why? Because that's how CowLip has always had Michael react to Brian's advances. They always have him making light of it.
They could have done so much more with that scene but once again, the statement was just to tease us. (The B/M-ers.) I have no doubt in my mind.
I want B/M to be together so much it hurts but no matter what I want, I know it's not my decision so I've just got to deal with whatever happens.
I don't hate Justin or the B/J relationship but I've always felt that B/M have been the foundation of the show. I don't doubt that Brian loves Justin, but in my heart, I just don't feel that it's the same deep love that he feels for Michael.
I know that this is all IMO, but when the show first started, it focused heavily on Michael and Brian's dynamic friendship. What's going to happen to that friendship in S5? We all sadly know that unless there's some kind of miracle, we're not getting a B/M ending. We've all watched the B/M friendship grow for 5 years only to have it crushed under a blanket of B/J.
So what's left for us to hold on to?
Unless CowLip plans to kill off Ben and banish Justin to Los Angeles forever, it looks like we're just going to keep the spirit of B/M alive in our hearts because that's the only place left for it, it seems.
God, I hope I'm wrong.
"All the memories so close to me just fade away. All this time you were pretending. So much for my happy ending"
Thanks for listening!! You know the drill... comments? questions? Fire away!!!! :D