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New Essay! [Mar. 18th, 2005|11:41 pm]
Queer As Folk Essays


[mood |accomplished]
[music |Green Day ~ Boulevard of Broken Dreams]

Hey guys!! Yes, it's that time again!! Now with out any further ado....

So Much for My Happy Ending

I was inspired to write this essay after listening to Avril Lavigne the other day. Particularly "My Happy Ending." I had just read all the latest S5 spoilers and I remember thinking, "The B/M-ers are screwed."

(Don't worry, no actual spoilers are contained in this essay!)

"You are everything, everything that I wanted. We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it."

No kidding. What happened to the B/M relationship? I mean, don't get me wrong, I still love B/M more than life itself but CowLip is severely fucking them up. The closer they bring Brian and Justin together, the further apart Brian and Michael become.

For crying out loud, in S3 Brian HIT Michael!! Something like that would have never happened in S1. Never.

Even though I keep asking myself "What went wrong???" I ultimately know the answer. CowLip are B/J-ers and that's why. Plain and simple. They've just been jerking us around and teasing us with the prospect of B/M getting together when all along they've known that it's never going to happen.

One of my favorite B/M scenes is in 203 when Brian agrees to meet Michael at the comic convention. After they kiss and Brian walks away, Michael just looks so deliriously happy, like his life was falling back into place. He'd been in a bad relationship, but so what? He always has Brian. Thus, the adorably sweet smile on his face as he watches his best friend walk away.

What happened to that deliriously happy Mikey over the seasons? Look at him now. He's not "deliriously happy Mikey" anymore. He's "I've settled for Ben because Brian's actually happy with Justin" Mikey. If Michael thought that he had a chance in hell with Brian, he would have never accepted Ben's proposal.

In that aspect, B/M have been respectively fucked. Brian loves Michael, but he doesn't think he's good enough for him and he doesn't think he can ultimately make Michael happy. Brian tested the waters before Ben and Michael got married by throwing out a random comment about Michael still loving HIM best but he shouldn't have stopped there. What he SHOULD have done is tell Michael that he was about to make the biggest mistake of his entire life and confess his feelings but he didn't. He kept his mouth shut. Or rather, CowLip kept it shut for him. Brian thinks Michael is happy with Ben, so he'd never confess his feelings and screw with Michael's mind and heart.

Michael loves Brian more than anyone or anything on the planet but he doesn't fully realize that Brian would be willing to give up everything for him, if Michael would just say the word. So you see, they are in one hell of a catch-22. Each loves the other more than life itself but neither one them have the courage to just openly admit their feelings for one another.

Then there's Justin.

I don't want to dwell on this for too long but as I've said before, CowLip put Brian in a serious predicament. Who is he to choose? His best friend, and soul mate? Or the boy who managed to work himself into his heart?

How do you honestly choose, without losing your sanity? I know not everyone will agree with this but I'm a firm believer that you can be in love with two different people in two very different ways. So how DO you choose?

We all know that Brian doesn't 'do' confessions so I've always felt that Michael should have been the one to initiate things between them. Brian already knows how Michael feels about him but if Michael would just pour his heart out, I really do think that Brian would reciprocate. Only, I don't see that happening anytime soon unless Ben was out of the picture.

During the Liberty Ride, when Brian confessed that Michael was the love of his life, what did Michael do? He made light of the situation and barely acknowledged it. Why? Because that's how CowLip has always had Michael react to Brian's advances. They always have him making light of it.

They could have done so much more with that scene but once again, the statement was just to tease us. (The B/M-ers.) I have no doubt in my mind.

I want B/M to be together so much it hurts but no matter what I want, I know it's not my decision so I've just got to deal with whatever happens.

I don't hate Justin or the B/J relationship but I've always felt that B/M have been the foundation of the show. I don't doubt that Brian loves Justin, but in my heart, I just don't feel that it's the same deep love that he feels for Michael.

I know that this is all IMO, but when the show first started, it focused heavily on Michael and Brian's dynamic friendship. What's going to happen to that friendship in S5? We all sadly know that unless there's some kind of miracle, we're not getting a B/M ending. We've all watched the B/M friendship grow for 5 years only to have it crushed under a blanket of B/J.

So what's left for us to hold on to?

Unless CowLip plans to kill off Ben and banish Justin to Los Angeles forever, it looks like we're just going to keep the spirit of B/M alive in our hearts because that's the only place left for it, it seems.

God, I hope I'm wrong.

"All the memories so close to me just fade away. All this time you were pretending. So much for my happy ending"

Thanks for listening!! You know the drill... comments? questions? Fire away!!!! :D

[User Picture]From: rionne
2005-03-19 06:44 am (UTC)
*applaud* Very well written, hon. Great job!

Mucho amor, y besitos y abrazos. :)
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[User Picture]From: mikeyface
2005-03-19 10:14 am (UTC)
Thanks SO much honey!!!

MUCHO, MUCHO Amor, & besitos!!! :D

Te Quiero mucho!! <3

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[User Picture]From: pluvial_poetry
2005-03-19 07:13 pm (UTC)
I still love it! ;)

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[User Picture]From: mikeyface
2005-03-20 12:00 am (UTC)
YAY!!! Thank you!!! :D
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[User Picture]From: bouncykeira
2005-03-21 02:02 am (UTC)
Ooo good essay sweetie
Of course I write this as a completely biased BMer point of view but you know that.
I do agree that people can be in love with more than one person at once. I think it isnt really that uncommon people are just unwilling to allow it to happen. But in this case I think you are right.
That songs speaks to me about my life and BM's relationship too right now, so I'm feelin you. At least we have our own stories to look into the future with.
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[User Picture]From: mikeyface
2005-03-21 02:53 am (UTC)

Aww thanks! I'm glad you liked it. Oh and I LOVE the fact that you are a biased B/M-er ;) That's one of your best qualities!! LOL. But it's not the best. The best is that you're like one of the sweetest most wonderful people I know!!! :D

*huggles again*

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[User Picture]From: bluerosefairy
2005-03-22 04:57 pm (UTC)
My distaste over Avril Lavigne aside (well, except for "I'm With You"), this was a great essay, Angie. I loved your analysis of S4, and Brian's confession. You're right, that's how Michael always reacts to Brian being mushy, because it's how he's been conditioned to react. If he actually believes there might be something more, Brian's likely to shoot him down and call him "pathetic". Which is Brian-speak for "I heart you", but Michael needs the real words and not shorthand.

*sighs* I need to go watch S1 again, and remember when our two boys actually cared about each other on-screen.
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[User Picture]From: mikeyface
2005-03-23 04:30 am (UTC)
LOL!! :D I used to LOVE Avril but lately, she's kind of.. EH? The just song sort of fit the situation. lol.

Awwww yay! I'm so glad you liked it!!!!

*is squeeee-ing with joy*

There are so many times I wish I could just shake Michael violently and be all like "DON'T YOU GET IT?????????"


I mean Brian practically poured his heart out (In his own Brian-like way of course..) and Michael barely acknowledged it.

Exhibit A:

B: "But you turned him down because deep down you still love ME best"
M: *Crickets*

And of course Exhibit B being Brian's love confession. Michael didn't even flinch when Brian said "When the love of your life..."


Can I get "Major Moment in Brian Kinney History" for 500$ please, Alex??

Now I love Mikey very dearly but at that moment, I wanted to slap him right off his bike. I was like "OH MY GOD TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Sorry. I'm okay. Really I am!!!! I just get a bit emotional when it comes to our boys.

*Stares happily at your icon*


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[User Picture]From: skittles
2005-03-24 06:18 am (UTC)
Just to throw in some quick comments:

Thanks for not totally bashing on the B/J relationship. I appreciate that in an essay. :) Now, onto the content itself.

For crying out loud, in S3 Brian HIT Michael!! Something like that would have never happened in S1. Never.

Do you not think Brian had a right to hit Michael? I mean, if I'm in a non-conventional relationship with someone who almost gets killed and then my best friend tells me I should have just left them to die, I'd be pretty pissed off too. I don't care who you are--it's just plain uncalled for.

As for Brian loving both Michael and Justin, I think you're right. He does love them both and in very different ways. But I just can't believe that Brian is in love with Michael after 15 years of friendship and not doing anything about it. I can't believe that.

As for Ben, well, I know a lot of B/Mers hate him but I won't approach that subject. Let's just say I think he's really good for Michael.
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[User Picture]From: mikeyface
2005-03-24 05:23 pm (UTC)
Hi! No worries, I'd never attack B/J! Though I'm not a shipper I CAN see the love in their relationship and I can appreciate it :D

As for Brian hitting Michael, you're right! He totally deserved it! I was just shocked that it happened that's all. I know all in all that Michael was just trying to protect Brian but I admit, it was a little over the top for him.

As far as the whole 15 year friendship thing goes... I guess I'm just a hopeless romantic and I do see that there's a strong love there between B/M.

In the end, I don't really care who ends up with who as long as everyone is happy but I always had my heart set on B/M :( lol. I'll just have to stick to fanfic!!!

Thanks for your comments! I love getting everyone's perspective on B/J, B/M and Be/M. I may not always agree but I'd never attack your opinions!!! Hey after all.. one thing we have in common is our mutual love for QaF overall right???? :D


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[User Picture]From: skittles
2005-03-25 05:12 am (UTC)
Well said! (applaudes)
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[User Picture]From: mikeyface
2005-03-25 05:31 am (UTC)
LOL!! Aww, thanks! *takes a bow*

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